"He Was Goated" & Other Clear Messages

I don't understand about 20% of what my boys say.

It's not because they don't enunciate.

It's not because I'm hard of hearing.

It's because the words they say just don't make sense to ME. Such as...

"He was goated."

"He was what?"

"Goeted."

"What does that mean again?"

"Mom, I've told you what goated means."

"Ok...Remind me if it's a good thing or a bad thing. Is it an adjective? Is it something that happened to him?"

"It's just goated."

Sigh.

I'm working on helping them understand that using a word I don't understand to explain a word I don't understand is unhelpful.

It's a work in progress.

Anyway, it reminds me how frequently we communicate with others in that way...In a way that makes sense to US.

And how often we're frustrated/surprised/angry/confused/annoyed when others don't understand.

So sometimes we simply repeat ourselves.

Sometimes we speak louder.

Sometimes we just give up.

Instead, I encourage you to stop and consider what, specifically, is unfamiliar to the listener and WHY.

Why might my mom not understand what "goated" means?

Oh, yeah. One would think it might have something to do with goats, AND she's not surrounded by middle-schoolers every day.

Why might the new team member be confused when I ask her to provide KPIs?

Oh, right. It's an acronym that means nothing to 99.7% of the population.

Why is he confused when I share a quote from Seinfeld?

Oh, right. He was born in 2005, has never seen the show, and may not even know who Seinfeld IS.

It not about intelligence.

It's about familiarity, clarity, and relevance.

Consider your audience. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Be patient. Revise, and try again. 

When has your message not been understood? Or when have you not understood someone else's?

If it hasn't happened yet today, it will likely happen tomorrow. 😉

Make your dash matter, and help others make theirs' matter, too.